Have you ever heard of the term “love language”?
If not, allow me to explain. A love language, is a specific way you feel most loved. Whether it’s gifts, people spending quality time with you, people doing things for you, hugs or affirmation, everyone has one way over the others that makes them feel most loved…
Gary Chapman originally wrote the book “The 5 Love Languages”.
I read it about three years ago, it’s amazing and I strongly encourage you to check it out! But I’d say for maturity reasons, make sure you’re at least 12 before reading.
Anyhow, I wanted to give everyone a chance to identify what their “Love Language” is, therefore I decided to write this post so you could figure yours out and learn something new about how to best love others…
(I’m giving my version of what I remember. Only the terms “Acts of Service, Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Touch and Gifts” are quoted from his book)
Acts Of Service
People whose love language is acts of service, feel most loved when others think (without prompt) to do something for them.
For instance, your job is taking out the trash after school, but one day you come home and your brother already took it out for you.
His act touches you deeper than the average person. Because while they go, ‘thanks, now I can mark that chore off.’ You go, ‘awwww….. thank you so much, I really appreciate that!’ And continue to shower him with your gratefulness.
People whose love language is gifts feel most loved when others (without prompt) give things to them.
For instance, you’re going about your day, minding your own business and spontaneously to you, your friend gives you a keychain. It’s a souvineer from the trip he/she just went on.
Their act affects you differently than most. While the average person goes, ‘yay! Thank you! Now I don’t have to be sad I couldn’t go.’ You go ‘oh… how thoughtful of you! Thank you!” And you cherish that gift because to you, it’s a sign of how much your friend loves you.
Words of Afformation
People whose love language is affirmation feel most loved when others (without prompt) affirm them.
Let’s say, you’re drawing and your mom comes and peeks over your shoulder. In the mist of you quietly counting your mistakes and tring to finish decently, she says (instead of the classic cliché) ‘wow, you’re an amazing artist! I’m so proud of you.’ Sincerely.
Her words warm your heart because, while the average person would go, ‘thanks, Mom!’ You go, ‘really, Mom? Thank you!!” And it gives you the courage to finish that picture and many others (ask me how I know), because you know she believes in you, and that makes you feel loved.
People whose love language is quality time feel most loved when others (without prompt) spend time with them.
For instance, your dad who’s usually busy takes unrushed time to sit and talk with you. He asks you about your day and what you’ve been up to lately.
For the average person, it’s a nice little chat. You got to explain some things and so on. But for you, it warms your heart and makes the world feel a little lighter. His act assures you he loves you and you treasure those uniterupted moments.
(This is on the basis of appropriate and wholesome touch)
People whose love language is touch feel most loved when the are hugged, their a significant other holds their hand (without prompt) and so on.
If you enjoy hugs, stroking or gental touch from a trusted love one then your love language is touch.
Ex: your friend comes up and hugs you on their own accord. While the average person’s response might range from *half hug back* to *distancing oneself*
You respond by giving them a genuine hug back and their seemingly small act makes your day. Deep down you feel loved that they took the time to let you know they loved you.
Everyone has two main love languages. One being primary and the other being secondary.
My primary love language is Touch. My secondary is Words of Affirmation.
Knowing someone’s love language is a powerful thing and so is knowing your own. It helps you understand others better and you can also help those around you love you better.
What do you think your Love Language is? Primary? Secondary?
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